I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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