She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I fill condoms, not promises.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize