Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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