you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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