making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize