bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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