he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize