Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Alive.
So much puke
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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