Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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