you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He has the fingertips of a God
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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