My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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