the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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