you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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