here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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