you would pick up someone in the library
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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