i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As shirtless as possible
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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