Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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