I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize