oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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