Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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