These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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