Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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