I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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