i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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