soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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