pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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