Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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