just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
not ubering you a puppy
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize