What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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