just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
try to milk me bitch
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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