You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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