so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
vagina is talking i cant
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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