look no pants
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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