I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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