Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just gift wrapped bread.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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