didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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