Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize