Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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