We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Buhtt sex?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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