We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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