Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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