life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize