only if we run a train.
done.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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