I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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