I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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