Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The ass gains better be worth it
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