so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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