Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize