I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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