i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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