At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize