I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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