I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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